I’m Going home! (again)

so I’ve blogged briefly about my stays in psychiatric care, but mostly the stuff I’ve kept about my journey is all written down because I don’t necessarily know how much I want to share. I started this blog back in 2013 whilst I was going through a tough time which actually triggered the onset of my mental illness.

It was so hard to accept being diagnosed with a mental illness because like it or not there is a stigma attached to it. I’ve been called all sorts of names and been treated badly. Last year I had a relapse and when stabilised I stayed well for a year which is a long time for me. About 6 or 7 weeks ago I felt myself struggling and I was trying to “keep it together” which is so much easier said than done.

4 weeks ago I took a huge overdose which resulted in a violent seizure and me being rushed into hospital. I was then sectioned on a section 2 which is “detention for a period of up to 28 days for assessment”. I was then transferred to a private hospital in Cambridgeshire which has helped my recovery no end. I cannot even begin to describe the differences between the NHS and the private sector when it comes to psychiatric care.

In the NHS setting I’m quite used to staff with rubbish attitudes and even name calling towards patients, since I’ve been in the private hospital I have found the staff just cannot do enough for you. If you are distressed or in need they are so fast to offer a listening ear or put actions into place to keep you safe. In the NHS hospitals I have been in the staff have been very quick to restrain and even inject patients who are being disruptive due to being disturbed rather than to try to deescalate by talking which I have noticed is actually very effective.

I mean lets face it a strong cocktail of drugs injected into you is going to calm you down but its a very short term fix, you may go to sleep, or you may walk around the ward like a zombie. Either way you wont be causing the staff any grief but what does that achieve for the patient in the long term? NOTHING!

The emotional distress which caused the outburst is still present because nobody has addressed it, they’ve simply managed that situation which I guess due to all of the cutbacks and funding issues is sometimes all they can do but it doesn’t make it right. It makes the patient feel like they’ve done something wrong, like they are being punished.


I started writing this entry as I was about to be discharged which was 15 days ago. I’m still at home thankfully, but I have to say a rough ride it has been. My auntie was in the final stages of lung cancer and sadly we lost her on Thursday. May she rest in peace now.

With a family bereavement comes intense emotions, stress, upset even anger and the house has been like a war zone due to the tough time we are having coupled with my recent relapse has been hell on earth. I think ( fingers crossed) we are starting to come out of the other side now.

Family friends have been a massive support as they offered me a place to stay which helped myself and my family have the breathing space from each other that we needed so desperately. Now we are all home together and stronger for it all.

Since coming home my care has of course been transferred back to the NHS which has as expected been w disaster. The home treatment team saw me once for 20 minutes and then deemed I was ok and discharged me, I then saw my CPN who couldn’t give a monkeys as usual ( I’m being polite) when my friends mum who was caring for me demanded my nurse do a home visit all she did was sit there not listening.

She couldn’t have been less interested if she had tried and admitted in the 2 years she has worked with me I haven’t had a care plan.. Her role is… ” care co ordinator”

yet there is no care plan?

That’s what we thought.

When it comes to the mental health services provided by the NHS after having the experience of private care this is my opinion.

NHS = No help sent!!

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